Monday, July 19, 2010
[Spoiler Alert - This may have nothing to do with death or that biological process or anything. I just have got the title of blog named that way]
I'm a person who can't give up on things that easily. I think I still have this character/quality in me, however, it has come down to a level that Im so happy/proud of. :-)
Being a kid - I cannot even digest losing my wicket in a game of cricket. When we are playing cricket at my aunt's place, whenever I lose my wicket, I will blame the bat or say the bowler bowled a no ball or it was not out or something. I cannot stand losing my wicket or for that matter of few other things as well.
Alas now, I can willingly come forward and give up on few things coz I know in the end I don't take even a penny back. As the famous line in the bhagwad gita goes "What have you brought for you to lose here? Whatever you have taken, you have taken from here". Practicing or being this way is little hard but not impossible, definitely no and it is true for all of us.
Losing what - the materials that we have around us? The things lost by theft, or lost by repair or lost by tear and wear out. All things kinda go away in time. One strange things happened when I fell down on the road recently - after I got up (thankfully, Im ok) but I looked at my bike and it was kinda broke. I felt real sad. I felt like oh my bike - the one thing that is for me with me and the one thing that I reckon on. It is you (hehe, bike gets personalization and almost gets called as life-like-the term YOU). And then a day later, I felt - gosh, how attached am I to my bike. Phew, is that good :D but yeah I like it still, but just got realized of my attachment to it and Im sure it will kinda come down (me :( and also :) ).
The larger, greater loss is of people or relation or with human. If the attachment with bike can be so significant for me, what about with people. It will be much more, right? Yes, it is. However, life (time) prepares one so beautifully. Im still amazed at the fact that I didn't shed a tear when my aachi passed away recently. I did a few when my periappa was around - don't know why, may be it was the fact that I saw the person who has got same or more love from my aachi like me.
When I look back, was I prepared to lose my aachi few years back - Im afraid, I dont think so. Am I prepared now, the moment it happened, well - I didnt have a choice :). But, I think I was much better prepared to handle it and move on than I was few years ago and guess it needed 25 years of my life time to prepare me to lose somebody like my aachi :-).
I think that is what is happening in life - you are constantly being prepared for the current and whats next and you are going through each of it - till the point of losing oneself. At this point, I really wonder at the quote I came up 4 or 5 years back - "All your possession in your life, including yourself is an illusion". Im not sure what prompted me to come up with that quote or what inspired me to say that but guess this post resonates something of it.