Saturday, January 7, 2012

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

Once in every while, this question passes through me, making me wonder and leaving me at that. A walk or thought down the memory lane or few events from past or some thing so present often leads me to this state of "Why am I here?" And every time, I'm lost in the wonder of my thoughts and to come out of it in more wonder, confused, relaxed and sometimes with a thought of may be time wasted a little, but that's ok feel.

I have no idea what it is but I feel 2006 kinda lingers in me for some reason. It was the new year I came to my city, lovely city of Chennai after my initial training in work, excited, enthusiastic, with so much energy (that I'm always blessed with) for work and everything life has to offer. Phew, I almost ended up losing it all, much to my own surprise and chuckle, by my own will. Alas, the dance classes in JNR, the countless water melon juices after them kept me going. Time spent going in the cab after work to my home, listening to FM was all so nice or the times I have to run and catch buses to reach my home. My frustration to wait for the last leg connectivity in buses to my locality that runs at a frequency of 1 hour at off peak hours lead to me purchasing my trusted warrior, mate, one whom I always reckon on - my Honda Unicorn. It was my first big purchase once I started for work and Im so happy it is my bike. Thanks to my appa for arranging part of the money when I wanted it and I dutifully adjusted it with something else down the line so that my claim above that it is my own purchase stands valid :) :-D hehe.

Going to Tidel back up center for my entire project, establishing myself so well with the clients and leading my own team of 3 members by the end 2006 in my work were all so much positive for me. Lots of time spent with my project and I even stayed up support till 12 AM on the new years eve of 2006-07 in my work that year. Doing countless dance performance with my Moto guys, watching movies with them and so many things were all so enjoyable and time well spent.

I dont wish to over emphasize 2006 here, even If I recollect some moments of my college times it brings back so much of a time well spent with ups and downs and something I would like to be part of again. Same with school or may be till my birth :. In fact my whole life had been good to me. I'm fortunate, thankful and glad about it. May be Im purely lucky or its just me.

Now, where do I go from here? I have few things that I want to do and lot more as well. I only wish for persistence and little bit of good luck on all of this now and going forward. Contrary to what some of my family members think, Im very flexible with things that are of interest to me. And, I still consider myself a clay that is not hard. I wish to remain this way, a moldable state and wish good objects and impressions (surroundings) to be molded upon.

Now, one thing for sure. I have been here before and shall be here again.  I'm referring to the state of "Why am I here?"